22,000 bricks

one day the eggs in your fridge will hatch and the yolk monsters will emerge

do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself into the police because dancing is now illegal

tiredestprincess:

"why do you want to take a picture of that store" - my mom

tiredestprincess:

"why do you want to take a picture of that store" - my mom

andanotaku:

Table confirmed for ssb4

andanotaku:

Table confirmed for ssb4

i haven’t gotten my mail in weeks. soon my mail box will become so full my mail man will have to come up to my house to deliver my mail. he will be the first to test my new booby trap

reallyreallyreallytrying:

of course i know what the big white night sky circle is called. no way am i getting defensive. it starts with m and i know what its called.

bombing:

teenagers, or as i like to call them “filthy hormone bombs”, are dangerous and

tumblr user: SPREAD THIS LIKE FUCKING WILD FIRE
cop: hey jim we need backup these wild teens set ANOTHER fucking forest on fire when will it end
friend: hey i have a half moon cookie left do you want half
me: yeah sure
friend: do you want chocolate or vanilla
me: what
friend: im cutting it in half, do you want the chocolate or vanilla side
me: why don't you just cut it the other way
friend:
friend: you're a cunt you know that right